Friday 18 December 2020

Christmas Cavalcade 2020, Part Three

With just one week to go, it’s time for another couple of festive-themed tracks for you, all part of this year’s Christmas Cavalcade.

 

First up is a find from our old friend Stephen ‘Beany’ Green, who was kind enough to send me a whole CD of funky festiveness recently. It’s British actor Arthur Treacher (I still have no idea if he was related to Bill ‘EastEnders’ Treacher…) and his rather unique take on the classic Santa Clause is Comin’ To Town. Treacher began his movie career in the 1930s, appearing in four Shirley Temple vehicles, and as butler Jeeves in a brace of early P. G. Wodehouse adaptations.

 

In the 1960s he became a regular face on TV in America, eventually becoming announcer and on-screen sparring partner to Merv Griffin. He made two albums with Griffin, Merv Griffin and Arthur Treacher in London: ‘Alf and ‘Alf a collection of musichall favourites, and the clumsily-titled Big Christmas Album For Merv Griffin and TV Family, which also featured an early musical outing from TV actor David Soul and, naturally, Santa Clause is Comin’ To Town.

 

Next up is Derrik Roberts and There Won't Be Any Snow (Christmas In The Jungle) an early (1965) Vietnam War-themed disc that’s guaranteed to warm the cockles at this time of year. It follows the same plot used by so many other pro- and anti-Vietnam discs, but I won’t spoil the denouement for you!

 

There’s not much info out there about this one and, confusingly, on promo copies the singer(s) are credited as a duo, Derrik and Roberts, rather than just Derrik Roberts. The disc was penned and produced by Vance and Pockriss who, between them, were responsible for dozens of hits and even more misses, from the great (Catch a Falling Star and Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini) to the reprehensible (Playground in My Mind and Without Your Love [Mr Jordan] Parts One and Two).

 

As an extra I’m also including the video to Jon Bon Jovi’s horrific remake of Fairytale of New York… a recording so bad that the record company have forbidden people to add their comments on YouTube after it was Universally panned.

 

I’ve never been a fan of their music – although part of that may be my jealousy at being too fat to fit into all of that spandex or too bald to be able to join a hair metal outfit – but Jon himself (who, 40 years ago brought us the Christmas Classic R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas) is a pretty stand up fella, doing immense good work in his local community, and I do feel a bit mean, but this truly is Godawful, and the new lyrics suck balls. It really should not exist, but I’m kind of glad it does. 


And if that’s not enough awful audio, why not join me on Wednesday, 2pm GMT/7pm Eastern for a whole hour of Christmassy crap – including all three of these turkeys - on The World’s Worst Records Radio Show: https://wfmu.org/playlists/WR

 

Enjoy! 

Download Santa HERE 

Download Jungle HERE

Friday 11 December 2020

Christmas Cavalcade 2020, Part Two

 

It’s another Friday in December, and time for another couple of Christmas-themed oddities. And, to follow last week’s brace of Beatle novelties, here are two more for you to endure.

 

First up is another Beatle-related festive novelty, Ringo-Deer, from Toronto DJ Garry Farrier. Ferrier’s 45 was issued in Canada just in time for Christmas 1964 by Capitol, although the company decided not t opt for a US issue, leaving Ferrier free to license the tracks to New York-based Academy Records. Ferrier had been involved in a number of novelty records, usually with a political bent,

 

Next up is Christmas With the Beatles by Judy and the Duets. This particular disc made the opposite journey, originally issued in New York on the tiny Ware Records Inc label and then licensed to Apex in Canada – the same label that had issued one of Garry Ferrier’s earliest releases, the 1959 novelty The Battle of Queenston Heights/The Tea Taster.

 

Christmas With the Beatles was written by Henry Glover who, together with Fred Norman, was also responsible for the arrangement. Glover and Norman were jazz veterans, Glover having played trumpet with Lucky Millinder, while Norman was a trombonist in the Claude Hopkins Orchestra. Both men also worked as songwriters, arrangers and producers during their long careers. Glover had his own label, Glover Records, which began issuing 45s in the late 50s and ran until 1964, shortly before this 45 was issued. Many of the tracks issued by Glover were published by Jon Ware Music, which would help explain why Glover wrote and arranged this one-off for Ware.


I've not been able to discover who Judy or the Duets were, although I have my suspicions. Glover worked with Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson throughout 1964, and in fact recorded and released the hit duo's first three 45s, so I would not be massively surprised if that's Valerie Simpson on lead vocals. 

 

Enjoy!

 

Download Ringo HERE

Download Christmas HERE

Friday 4 December 2020

Christmas Cavalcade 2020, Part One

Ho Ho Ho my friends! Yes, it’s that time of year again, and as we wind our way towards Christmas Day what better to keep you warm these cold winter nights than this year’s Christmas Cavalcade?

 

Now, I know I’ve been a bit remiss these last couple of months, only posting once a fortnight (if that) rather than every week, and I intend to make that up to you before the end of the year with tonnes of festive goodies and other delights.

 

Let’s kick off today with a couple of Beatle-themed Christmas crackers. Back in December 2017 I gave you I Want a Beatle For Christmas by Becky Lee Beck and Bring Me A Beatle For Christmas by Cindy Rella (what a ridiculous name!), and those are still available HERE, but today I bring you two more (by my reckoning there are at least a dozen Beatles/Christmas novelties, excluding their own Fan Club flexis).

 

First up is (or are) the Fans and I Want a Beatle For Christmas, issued by Dot in the US in 1964. Despite the title it’s an entirely different song to the one performed by Becky Lee Beck that same year. The Fans were a London-based duo, friends Gita Renik and Jeanette Ross, although the disc does not appear to have had a British release.

 

Next up is a British disc, Santa Bring Me Ringo credited to Tich with The Ted Taylor Four With The Corona Kids. Older British Blog followers will no doubt recall Tich as one half of Tich and Quackers, the schoolboy and duck puppets of ventriloquist Ray Alan, popular in the 1960s. Alan would achieve greater fame when he ditched Tich in favour of the much more grown-up Lord Charles. Santa Bring Me Ringo was co-written by Angelo Badalamenti (yes, THAT Angelo Badalamenti), and the song was also recorded ‘straight’ by young Christine Hunter and issued in the US on Roulette.

 

If you’re after something extra to fill you stocking, tune in to the World’s Worst Records Radio Show this coming Wednesday (9 December), when I shall be playing tracks from the BRAND NEW MRS MILLER ALBUM’ A Christmas Gift From Mrs Miller¸ and talking to her great-nephew Jeff: https://wfmu.org/playlists/WR

 

That’s it for now, but there will be loads more over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

 

Download Beatle HERE

Download Santa HERE

Friday 20 November 2020

Sing It Again, Vince!

This fabulous little find comes courtesy of regular blog (and radio show) follower/contributor Stephen ‘Beany’ Green, who discovered this, on cassette, on one of his regular charity shop forays and was kind enough to send me a copy.

 

I can’t tell you much about Vincent Sings By Request, as I’m told that no information about Vince or his fellow musicians accompanied the tape. I’m on the fence as to whether Vince has employed a local pub band or he’s singing to backing tracks, but maybe it’s a mixture of both. The band seems pretty accomplished, although most of the material is of karaoke quality, complete with obligatory washy synths. Some of the arrangements, although simple, are markedly different to those you would hear on a karaoke CD, although the horn section employed on a couple of the cuts sound like they have come straight off an ‘instrumental hits’ collection. If cornered, I would guess that most of the album was recorded in a single session with a keyboard and drum duo, with at least two of the tracks, You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me and Too Young using pre-recorded backing tracks or sampled brass.

 

I would also assume, from the choice of tracks, that there is a Blackpool or Bolton connection: one of the songs, The Blackpool Belle, was composed in 1975 by Bolton songwriters Howard Broadbent and Jimmy Smith and recorded shortly after by local folk group the Houghton Weavers. Howard Broadbent recorded his own version of the song in 1986, issuing it as a single backed with another of his compositions, The Tram. Both songs appear on Vincent’s cassette, which to me suggests that our Vince recorded his magnum opus sometime after.

 

I have nothing else: I’ve spent literally minutes scouring local online newspaper archives but cannot find a single mention of Vincent or his album. Can anyone out there help? UPDATE, June 2021: I can now tell you, after being contacted by his grandson, that Vince's full name was Vincent Lorraine, and that he made other recordings. More information to follow!

 

Here are a couple of tracks to whet your whistle while we wait for more information: I Just Called to Say I Love You and You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me

 

Once again, thanks Beany! I love it!

 

Enjoy!

 

Download Called HERE

Download Love HERE

Friday 6 November 2020

Tone Deaf, Treacle

Peter Dean, an actor best known here in Britain for playing Pete Beale in the long-running BBC soap opera EastEnders once recorded a single… and it’s every bit as horrible as you would hope!

 

Can't Get A Ticket (For The World Cup) was issued in May 1986, the year of Maradona’s infamous ‘hand of god’, which saw England eliminated at the quarter-final stage of the competition. Possibly knowing that England were likely to fall over their own feet, the sleeve of the single also featured the badges of the Scottish and Irish teams alongside England, Dean and his squad hedging their bets or attempting to appeal to footie fans outside of England itself. Scotland and Ireland both made it to Mexico, but both went out in the first round. As did any hope of Mr. Dean scoring a chart hit.

 

The song was co-written by Ray Fenwick and saxophonist Wesley Magoogan. Fenwick’s more than a half-century in music has seen him collaborate with a number of big-name British rock musicians, including members of Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Yes and the Spencer Davis Group, as well as with blues legend Bo Diddly and many others. While with the Spencer Davis Group he wrote the theme tune to the fondly remembered children’s TV show Magpie – recorded by the Spencer Davis Group under the pseudonym Murgatroyd. The flipside, Right, Fine, Don't Panic! is a piece of substandard Chas & Dave-esque tosh written by Magoogan on his own, which would explain the wailing, atonal saxophone slathered all over it.

 

Commenting on his song at the time, Dean said: ‘I’m a great believer in music. It unites people, and I hope this song can do it for all those supporters who couldn’t get a ticket for Mexico.’. I’m not quite sure what Mr. Dean meant by ‘it’ exactly, but the single was a spectacular flop, failing to chart despite Dean performing the song on Tyne Tees Television’s live current affairs programme Nightline.

 

Enjoy!

 

Download Cup HERE

 

Download Panic HERE

 

Friday 23 October 2020

Dreck of Cards

We’re going way back for today’s blog post, back to the 1940s, just a couple of years after the War had ended and almost a full decade before rock ‘n’ roll had infected the world’s youth.

 

Deck of Cards has been recorded umpteen times by umpteen different artists. Every single version is horrible. The story, of how a soldier uses a pack of playing cards as a stand in for the Bible, first appeared at least two hundred years before anyone got around to recording it: he earliest known reference was written by Mary Bacon, a British farmer's wife, on 20 April 1762, and can be found in Mary Bacon's World, published by Threshold Press in 2010. The story was also included in 1865 book The Soldier's Almanack, Bible And Prayer Book. In that version the usually anonymous soldier is given a name, Richard Middleton.

 

The version I bring you today was recorded by Linn Burton, best known to US readers as a radio announcer and DJ, working initially in Chicago. In later years he became a well-known face on TV, doing live ads for furniture stores and car dealerships for over a quarter of a century. Born Burton Adolph Ofstie in Minneapolis, in the 1960s he also branched out into restaurant ownership with Linn Burton's Steak House.

 

Burton’s recording of Deck of Cards was issued in 1948; it failed to chart, but several other versions of the song would. T. Texas Tyler (the Man With a Million Friends) also recorded the track in 1948; this version credits Tyler himself with having adapted and arranged the song. Versions by Tyler (generally assumed to be the first) and Tex Ritter were both listed on the same charts in June 1948, and other artists also issued versions that same year.

 

Burton’s version does not credit Tyler and uses a different tune. It has no writer credit, only ‘adapted from the original English story’ printed on the label under the title. The disc is first mentioned in Billboard in April 1958, just a week or so after the Tyler version begins to get any coverage. The flip side of Burton’s release, Letter to Mother, was getting more notice than Deck of Cards, offering someone else the perfect opportunity to sweep in and steal its thunder.

 

Did Tyler hear Burton’s version and decide to claim it as his own, or was it the other way around? We’ll probably never know. Tyler has gone down in the annals of recording history as having been the originator, and Burton’s version has been consigned to the trash can… until now.

 

In 1954 Pee Wee King updated the song as Red Deck of Cards to reflect the then-current hysteria surrounding the encroaching menace of communism.  Others would also alter the lyric to make the song more relevant to people worried by the effects of the Korean or Vietnam wars. In 1959 Wink Martindale’s version would reach number seven on the Billboard chart and number five in the UK. In 1973 popular British recording star Max Bygraves issued his version of the song and which reached number 13 in the charts; Martindale’s version was re-issued around the same time and reached number 22.


Anyway, here are both sides of the 1948 Linn Burton release, Deck of Cards and A Letter to Mother


Enjoy!


Download Deck HERE


 


 Download Mother HERE


Friday 9 October 2020

Two More From Edna Mae

It was only a few months ago, May to be precise, that I first featured the deliriously wonderful Edna Mae Henning on this here blog. I would not normally revisit an artist so soon after first introducing them, but earlier this week I became the proud owner of one of her more obscure 45s, and I felt obliged to share it with you as soon as I could, especially as neither seems to be available elsewhere on these here internets.


Please Mr Dee-Jay, backed with Getting the Blues Over You was issued by Edna's own Henning (or Henning's, depending on which part of the label you're looking at) Surprise Records in 1981. As on all of the tracks I've heard so far from Edna May both feature that wonderfully amateur Honky-Tonk piano and her equally wonderful discordant, highly accented vocals. It's divine.


Apologies for the brevity of this post, but if you would like to know more about the life of Edna Mae (well, if you would like me to share what little I know about it) may I direct you to the previous post, where you will also find two other tracks, Mama, Forgive Your Truckin’ Man, and  I Can’t Get Over You.  


Enjoy!


Download Dee-Jay HERE


Download Blues HERE

Friday 25 September 2020

Puppets for Praise

I'm off on a well-deserved and much-needed holiday from today, but before I go here's a real treat for you, the whole of one of the more obscure Little Marcy albums, The Jesus Story. The information below originally appeared in my first book, The World's Worst Records Volume One.


The product of a devoutly religious family, young Marcellaise ‘Marcy’ Hartwick was born and raised in Wichita, Kansas. She studied piano and trombone as a child. Moving to Portland, Oregon, the committed Christian married the equally religious Malcolm Everett Tigner in 1942, and the pair determined to exploit her art to praise God.

 

She released a brace of trombone LPs under her married name - Some Golden Daybreak with organist Lorin Whitney (who a few years previously had released a Christian praise album which consisted of himself playing organ accompanied by song birds) and the inspiringly-titled Trombone for the Christian Faith label, but it seems that there's not a huge market for God-bothering trombonists. So she decided to sing instead.

 

Sadly, whenever the young Mrs Tigner opened up her larynx an odd, child-like sound came out (a female Lil’ Markie, if you will) and so, after issuing just one three-track EP for the obscure Angelus Records label, she learned to button it. That was until her husband had the brilliant idea of having his missus sing kiddie songs whilst pretending to be a small girl: Little Marcy was born.

 

Credited simply as Marcy, Mrs Tigner released a couple of albums on small Christian imprints, kicking off in 1964 with Happy Day Express which, along with her next few releases, deliberately did not feature a photo of the artist on the cover but instead included a rather crude drawing of a pig-tailed, smiley-faced moppet. The company that signed her (Cornerstone) seemed perfectly happy to share in this duplicity until a chance meeting with model, ventriloquist and former Miss America Vonda Van Dyke on the set of the Christian film Teenage Diary convinced her that having a wooden Mini-Me on her lap as she sang her stuff would be the way to go. So after careful study of the popular Paul Winchell book Ventriloquism For Fun and Profit (maybe he should consider retitling that For Fun and Prophet), she hooked up with a small doll – manufactured to her own design, and based on herself as a little girl, by the same company that made the original Charlie McCarthy doll – which she christened Little Marcy and, with the gift of her unusual, child-like singing voice, released around three dozen dopey, odd or downright disturbing albums over three decades.

 

They really have to be heard to be believed. Marcy’s voice is a dead ringer for that of a six year-old, and the songs – including such peaches as When Mr. Satan Knocks At My Heart's Door, I'm Glad I'm A Christian, I Love Little Pussy (a song guaranteed to give a psychiatrist nightmares), It’s Bubbling and the utterly brilliant Devil, Devil Go Away - are a mixture of kid-friendly, happy-clappy praise, nursery rhymes and less-friendly fire and brimstone scare tactics.

 

This unusual act fascinated and inspired audiences for decades. The pair appeared on radio programmes such as Marcy Tigner's Hymntime and Sing with Marcy; there's a TV special with Smokey the Bear (and, naturellement, an accompanying album and storybook), and at least two Little Marcy films.

 

Marcy also appeared in book form: between 1968 and 1980 Mrs Tigner penned a series of short children’s books including Little Marcy Loves Jesus, Little Marcy At The Zoo and Little Marcy’s Favourite Bible Stories. Our favourite block of wood even had its own line in prayer and hymn books. Marcy T teamed up with her daughter Lauri Khodabandehloo Tigner to write and perform, although these days Lauri Khodabandehloo has dropped the Tigner, become an author in her own right and has expunged all mentions of her past life as a doll’s assistant from her biography.

 

Marcy’s last album of new recordings, Little Marcy and Mother Goose Go to Church, came out in 1982; she appeared in a couple of short films made specifically for Christian cable channels by Tyndale Christian Video (Learning To Do God’s Work and Learning God’s Love) in 1988/89 and then gracefully retired.

 

Everett Tigner shuffled off this mortal coil in 2007, after 65 years of marriage. Little Marcy’s handler – Marcy Tigner – passed away at the grand old age of 90, in April 2012, which, barring a buy-out from the Disney Corporation, means that the world has probably heard the last of the little wooden doll.


Here are both sides of (to give it its full title) Ralph Carmichael Presents Little Marcy With the Jesus Story (a Children's Musical). Enjoy!


Download Side One HERE

 

Download Side Two HERE

Friday 18 September 2020

The Eyes of Suzy Moppet

 

It’s been more than seven years since I last wrote about the career of the late Tammy Faye Bakker (born Tamara Faye LaValley in 1942), and when I did I concentrated on her career as a solo singer. But before she set out to be a solo sensation, she and her husband – the disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker – began their recording career with the 1969 release Jim and Tammy and their Friends: Songs and Stories

 

The ‘friends’ included glove puppets Allie the Aligator, Muffin the Talking Dog, Mr Clown, Zippy the Talking Mailbox and the shrill-voiced Susie Moppet, who sounds for all the world like Little Marcy with a head cold. This couple had absolutely no shame: Susie Moppet is clearly a Porky Pig doll in a cheap dress and a wig made of yellow wool, but the money-grubbing Bakkers had the audacity to market Susie Moppet dolls as their own creation.

                                                             

At the time they recorded Jim and Tammy and their Friends: Songs and Stories the couple were broadcasting six days a week on Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network. The show was wildly popular (so they claim) and a Jim and Tammy Friendship Club was set up, giving the huckster couple their first real sense of how easy t was to fleece the gullible. Jim and Tammy (and their friends) became the breakout stars of Robertson’s channel and were soon following the trail of all of that filthy lucre: in 1973 the couple joined with disgraced televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch to help co-found the Trinity Broadcasting Network, before moving to Charlotte, North Carolina to set up their own money-making megalith. During that time Tammy issued her own solo debut, 1970’s Tammy Tammy Tammy, but building an empire had to come first, and she would not revisit her solo career until 1977.

 

In 1975, following the Bakker’s defection from the Trinity Broadcasting Network  to establish their own multi-million dollar generating Praise the Lord Network (PTL) Jim and Tammy and their Friends resurfaced, with their sophomore release, the idiotically-titled Oops! There Comes a Smile, the ‘friends’ first album for six years.


The same year as Oops! There Comes a Smile was issued the ‘difficult’ third album, Building on The Rock, also saw the light of day. Two years later saw the release of the band’s fourth and final album Clap Your Hands, before Tammy put the dolls back into the toy chest and resumed squawking for God without her hand up a puppet pig’s arse.

 

The Bakkers' control of PTL collapsed in 1987 when it was revealed that Jim had been a bit naughty with the company secretary, Jessica Hahn, and reportedly used $287,000 of the church’s funds to buy her silence (that was a waste of money!). Further investigations into the Bakker’s extravagant lifestyle questioned their dodgy, and vastly oversubscribed, Christian hotel time-share scheme and the funds they had poured into their Christian theme park, Heritage USA.

 

With the couple in disgrace and Jim facing a stretch in jail, renowned Christian fraudster, fellow televangelist and friend (not of the puppet kind, you understand) Jerry Falwell offered a lifeline, but under his stewardship PTL soon went bankrupt. In 1989 Bakker was sentenced to 45 years in prison on 24 fraud and conspiracy counts. Falwell and the Bakker’s fell out, primarily it seems because Falwell was only interested in using PTL to boost his own television career, but also no doubt because the equally self-absorbed Falwell had the temerity to call our Jim a liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant, and ‘the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history’.

 

Jim and Tammy Taye divorced in 1992; a year later she married former PTL bigwig Roe Messner – the man who provided Jim with the cash to pay of Jessica Hahn and who claimed, during the bankruptcy hearing for PTL, to be owed $14 million by the church. Messner filed for bankruptcy himself in 1990 and, just like his former friend Jim, wound up being convicted of fraud. Tammy and Jerry both died in 2007. Sadly Jim is still with us (just: he had a stroke in May but was back at work fronting The Jim Bakker Show with second wife Lori in July), knocking out fake Covid cures and, as news site Christian Today put it, preying on ‘the most vulnerable kinds of people’.

 

Here is the entire Jim and Tammy and their Friends album, Oops! There Comes a Smile. The whole thing is only 25 minutes long, so I’ve simply broken it down to Side One (10 short songs: The Joy Of The Lord, What A Wonderful Day That Will Be, Oops! There Comes A Smile, Happiness Is The Lord, God Is Watching You, Do Lord, I Wonder, Heaven Is A Wonderful Place, Praise The Lord and God's Not Dead) and Side Two (two stories, The Pearl Of Great Price and Noah's Ark).

 

Enjoy!

 

Download Oops 1 HERE 


Download Oops 2 HERE 

 

Friday 4 September 2020

Sonny, Buddy, Elmer and Dick

 If you were listening to the World’s Worst Records Radio Show this week, (and if you haven’t, you can do so now by clicking HERE) you would have heard me play a couple of tracks from one of my latest acquisitions, a Columbine Records song-poem compilation that was issued, it’s fairly safe to assume, in 1981.

It’s another one of the endless stream of the company’s catch-all Music of America series. There are well over 100 in all; no one has yet been able to fully catalogue them, although Phil Milstein’s long-dormant American Song-Poem Music Archives made a valiant effort some years ago: http://www.songpoemmusic.com/labels/columbin.htm

The cover – and I have several featuring an identical front sleeve – would lead you to believe that this dis was issued around 1976, in time to mark America’s bicentennial. In fact one of the songs on the album, U.S.A. (Garden of Roses) is bicentennial-themed, so how can I be so sure that the album was issued in 1981 when I’ve already admitted that no reliable catalogue exists? For the simple reason that one of the songs, To Yoko, was written about the assassination of John Lennon, which took place on 8 December 1980.

For sure, it could have come out in 1982 or 83, but there is no way that this album could possibly predate 1981. Unless the lyric for To Yoko had been composed by Criswell, that is. As a Beatle, Yoko and song-poem fan, finding and purchasing this album was essential. And it did not disappoint… as you are about to discover.

The tracks below feature Columbine regular Sonny Cash, who also appeared on the label as Ralph Lowe, as well as recording for MSR under the names of Dick Castle and Dick Kent. The singer’s real name was Elmer Plinger: no wonder he used a pseudonym. Plinger had been recording since at least 1940: in February of that year, as vocalist of the Modern Mountaineers, he recorded a couple of sides for RCA’s Bluebird imprint, which were also available via mail order retail pioneer Montgomery Ward. As Buddy Ray, he recorded a couple of vocals for the magnificently odd "Night-Club Music" Las Vegas & Country Western, by Ken ‘Nevada’ Maines, in the early 70s, and by the time these cuts were laid down in the studio he had been working as a professional vocalist for over 40 years.

Here’s Sonny/Elmer/Buddy/Dick with To Yoko and the rather wonderful Psychic Cigarette.

Enjoy!

Download Yoko HERE

 

 Download Cigarette HERE

Friday 28 August 2020

(Just Like The) Son of Sam

If you’re a fan of Sam Sacks’ Sing It Again, Sam then Sam Chalpin’s My Father, the Pop Singer is the album for you: 10 songs mangled in the best Sam Sacks fashion, only with an au courant pop beat. With a title half-inched from comedian Allan Sherman (whose debut album was entitled My Son, the Folk Singer), My Father, the Pop Singer is a little treasure.

However, I must admit that I was confused when I first saw the sleeve (which, you’ll understand was before I had listened to the contents). I assumed that the girl on the right was Sam, and that the Bono-alike was her father Ed Chalpin, Jimi Hendrix’s former manager. Chalpin was the man responsible for those awful Hendrix and Curtis Knight jams, and for the so-called Hendrix and Knight studio tracks (Flashing, Hush Now etcetera) that have been endlessly recycled since their first appearance in 1967. It did not take long to discover that the young lady on the sleeve was an agency model with no connection to the recording at all, and that the uncomfortable looking man in the bell-bottom trousers was, in fact, Ed Chalpin’s own father, Sam, who provides the vocals on the album.

So how did this unusual record come about? The story on the reverse of the sleeve, which tells how 65-year-old Sam strolled into a recording studio and announced that he wanted to make a record is pure hokum. The simple truth is that Ed, always on the make, saw the success that Mrs Miller was enjoying and felt that he could come up with something that would sell just as well. And do it quickly.

He had form: Ed ran his own New York recording studio, Studio 76, and production company (PPX Productions), located on the 7th floor at 1650 Broadway, just around the corner from the famous Brill Building. Studio 76 was an unusual setup, specialising in quick soundalike copies of chart hits which Ed would license to countries outside of the States, meaning that they could often get carbon copies of the big US hits weeks before British or other European labels had gone through the lengthy process of licensing, mastering and pressing the originals.

Assembling a crew of musicians well-versed in Ed’s methods, he dragged his dad in and, over the course of two days, made him bark and bray his way through a selection of pop hits, including the Singing Nun’s Dominique, a couple of Beatles tracks and – in line with the image on the front cover – a version of the Sonny Bono-composed Cher hit Bang Bang. It’s a riot! Ahmet Ertegun, co-founder and president of Atlantic Records, clearly thought so too, snapping the recordings up for his Atco imprint which, with beautiful Irony, was also home to Sonny and Cher. The album was issued in July 1966, just four months after Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits had hit the stores.

That’s it in a nutshell: if you would like to read the whole story from someone who was there, engineer Mike Rashkow (who sadly passed away in 2013) wrote a feature for the Spectropop website that is well worth perusing. Mike goes into great detail about Chalpin’s studio set up and explains exactly how the album was recorded, edited, and produced.

As I’m feeling generous today, and because the whole thing only lasts for a little over 20 minutes, here’s the entire album. I defy you to keep a straight face while you listen to Sam Chalpin massacre the classics!

Enjoy!

Download Side One HERE


Download Side Two HERE

Friday 21 August 2020

Jet Lady


Angela Masson is a true Renaissance woman: an artist, inventor, a decorated pilot, television host and – naturally – musician whose life we can but marvel at.

Born in California, Angela began flying lessons at age 15 and, shortly after obtaining her pilot’s license, she started air racing. At 21 years-old, while flying in the Powder Puff Derby, an annual transcontinental air race for women pilots which ran for 30 years from 1947, she set a record as the youngest person to fly coast to coast in a high-performance aircraft.

In 1971 she trained armed forces pilot cadets at fellow aviatrix Claire Walters Flight School to build her flight experience, getting over 1,000 flight hours in less than a year. “The place where I was teaching had two bathrooms,” she told reporter Benjamin Gleisser in 2019, “and both were for men. So I wrote ‘WO’ in lipstick in front of the word on one of the doors. There was a law on the books that said, essentially, ‘Women shall not fly for the military.’ I thought, Wait a minute, why can’t we be pilots? The military’s excuse was they didn’t have helmets that would fit us.” She then went on to fly as a charter pilot for Express Airways out of Naval Air Station Lemoore on a civilian contract for the Navy and became a full-time commercial pilot the following year.

Frustrated to see her former male students flying jets while females were barred (bizarrely they were allowed to fly helicopters, the US military not considering whirlybirds proper aeroplanes!), she went back to school, writing her Ph.D. dissertation “Elements of Organizational Discrimination: The Air Force Response to Women as Military Pilots”. That paper was read by Robert Crandall, president of American Airlines, who hired her, initially as a flight engineer on a Boeing 727, in 1976. Shortly after she became a pilot and was the first woman to fly as First Officer on the Boeing 707, 767 and Douglas DC-10. The Ph.D. that had so impressed Crandall was presented before Congress during the Hearings about opening military the Academies to women. In 1978, as airlines began investigating the idea of commercial flights into space, Angela’s name was being put forward, the first and only woman considered to pilot such a enterprise.

By the late 1990s she was living in Florida, still mixing and making and applying for patents for her various inventions. As their most senior female pilot, she finally retired from American Airlines in December 2007 after 31 years’ service. But of course, she had many more strings to her bow. In 1980 Angela decided to run for Mayor of Los Angeles. She didn’t win, and we should probably be grateful for that, because if she had become a politician we may never have heard her 1982 opus, Jet Lady.  

Jet Lady, released under the name Tangela Tricoli, is Angela’s her one and only album… but what a marvel that is. Released independently (and now worth a fortune) the disc features Angela/Tangela singing her own compositions, accompanied by her own solo acoustic guitar. Sounding like a cross between Frances Baskerville the Singing Psychic and Lucia Pamela, Jet Lady contains such stone-cold classics as Stinky Poodle (surely the inspiration for Phoebe Buffay’s Smelly Cat), Life of a Housewife and Space Woman. Occasionally, as on the original Stinky Poodle she double tracks her voice; many of the tracks are slathered with echo and reverb, producing a unique, ethereal sound unlike anything else. It’s just wonderful. As she herself said (in a 2010 interview), “I sing about everything I do. I can’t sing on-key, but that doesn’t stop me.” It’s a sentiment very close to my own heart.

She followed up the release with her own cable TV show, which ran for four years in the Hollywood area. By the late 1990s she had retired and was living in Florida, although still mixing and making and applying for patents for her various inventions. Sadly she would not record a whole album again, however in 2003 Arf! Arf! Records reissued the album on CD, complete with extra material, campaign ads, unreleased demos and a brand new re-recording of Stinky Poodle.

Angela may have retired from commercial work, but as recently as last year she was still passing on her love of flight, teaching at the St. Augustine High School Aerospace Academy and at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, Florida. “Every day, I try to share with my students the love of flying,” she explained to Benjamin Gleisser. “Aviation is a lifestyle. There’s something sparkly in it for everybody. It gives you a reason to wake up in the morning and play with the reality of being alive.”

Here are two tracks to get you started – the original recording of Stinky Poodle and the wonderful Space Woman, but I urge you to go buy the CD of Jet Lady and wallow in the brilliance of Angela Masson, aka Tangela Tricoli.

Enjoy!

Download Poodle HERE

Download Space HERE

Saturday 15 August 2020

Raving


Just a quick post today… I’ve been a bit distracted working on the new book and have not had a lot of time to search out new material to share with you, so today I’m delving into my song-poem archive once again.

These two tracks come from one of the many, many, many Columbine compilations that appeared in the 1970s and 80s: this particular release being one of the earlier Now Sounds of Today collections, of which there were around 300 iterations. There’s no date on the record label or cover, as is usual with the vast majority of song-poem releases, but this would have been issued around 1977 or so.

Douglas Mac Arthur Tsosie’s Curse of an Evil Woman and Grace Dorsey’s wonderfully bizarre Miraculous for Miracle were recorded by Columbine’s in-house band of seemingly hopeless amateurs, the Rave-Ons, the most inept bunch of musicians you’re ever likely to come across, and a band who recorded the vast majority of tracks on the first 13 Columbine albums – well over 200 songs – before vanishing completely from the Columbine roster.

These two tracks are the first two cuts on side one of this particular Now Sounds of Today: back in April 2010 (yes, over a decade ago) I featured tracks three and four from the same album but at that time posted the wrong cover… oops! At some point I’ll get around to ripping the whole thing and sharing it with you, but for now here are a couple of horrors to blight your day.

Enjoy!

Download Evil HERE




Download Miracle HERE

Friday 31 July 2020

Father? Oh Brother!


When I was a wee lad, Patrick Cargill was ubiquitous. From playing a psychopathic Number Two in the classic Prisoner episode Hammer Into Anvil, to appearing in both Help! and the Magic Christian... which was a pretty big deal for a young Beatles fan. It was only later that I discovered he had also played opposite Tony Hancock in the brilliant Blood Donor and appeared in a brace of Carry On… films too. But, more than anything, he was the rakish Patrick Glover in the ITV sitcom Father, Dear Father.

Glover was an author, divorced and bringing up two teenage daughters along with his housekeeper (always referred to as Nanny), and a large St Bernard dog, HG (for H G Wells). The premise of the show was paper-thin, but it ran for 45 episodes over five years. Father, Dear Father was a huge success, a defining and somewhat stereotyping role for Cargill, and the inevitable spin-off movie followed. A couple of years after the series ended he was back in a new sitcom, originally to be titled Take My Wives, but eventually screened under the name the Many Wives of Patrick.

The success of Father, Dear Father led to Cargill being offered the opportunity to record an album and several singles based around the character of Patrick Glover. First came the 1969 album Patrick Cargill Sings Father, Dear Father followed two years later by a 45, a vocal version of the show’s theme tune, credited to Patrick Cargill And The Petticoat Twins and, another two years after that, the festive Father Dear Father Christmas.

He did not find being in the limelight easy, but like many British comic actors, he was ‘big in Australia’, and gladly accepted an offer to uproot and relocate ‘down under’ temporarily to make an Aussie version of Father, Dear Father in 1978. he continued to make trips to the country and, on his final visit there in 1994, he was knocked down by a hit-and-run driver, leading to erroneous reports that he had died. Back in Britain. although no longer in demand on television, he continued to work on the stage throughout the 1980s.

He passed away in a hospice, where he had been receiving care after suffering a brain tumour, in May 1996 at the age of 77. he had continued to act until he became too ill to do so, appearing in a touring production of Michael Frayn’s Noises Off the previous spring. I had no idea that he was gay: no one would have. Unlike many homosexual actors of the time the press left him alone, never hinting (at least as far as I am aware) that he was anything other than the slightly foppish heterosexual he often portrayed on screen. Even when he died, obituaries made vague mention of the fact that he had never married, but left it at that. Of course, being a trifle more sophisticated I can now look back and see the signs… chief of which was his long-term relationships with landscape gardener Vernon Page and, later, James Markowski.

By the way, in case those who recall the TV series had ever wondered, Nanny (the Glover’s long-suffering, slightly scatty housekeeper, played by Noel Dyson) had a ‘real’ name: Mrs. Harris.

Here are a couple of Patrick’s vocal performances for you. First up is Father Dear, the opener from the 1969 album Patrick Cargill Sings Father, Dear Father. Following that is the 1971 vocal version of the theme from Father, Dear Father from Patrick Cargill And The Petticoat Twins.

Enjoy!

Download Father Dear HERE

Download Father Dear Father HERE

Friday 17 July 2020

Piss Drinkers and Hell Raisers


Born on 31 December 1941, Sarah Miles is a British actress, best known for films including The Servant (1963), Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines (1965), Blowup (1966), Ryan's Daughter (1970, for which she received an OSCAR nomination for Best Actress), White Mischief and Hope and Glory (both 1987).

She has also worked extensively in the theatre, and was nominated for a BAFTA for best newcomer in her debut, Term of Trail (1962) opposite Sir Laurence Olivier. She was just 19 at the time, Larry was 55, but the pair briefly became lovers.

So began a pattern that would dog her life. Over the years she has been the swain of several well-known men, including Robert Mitchum, Steven Spielberg and Burt Reynolds, and was twice married to playwright Robert Bolt, nursing him through years of ill-health.

In 1973 Miles was questioned over the death of her ‘business manager’ and one-time lover David Whiting, whose body was discovered in her Arizona motel room, on the morning of 11 February, while she was in America filming The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing with Burt Reynolds. Early reports suggested that Whiting had taken his own life, but as the story unfolded so did a tale of violence, with Miles admitting to having taken ‘a considerable beating’ from the aspiring scriptwriter. Miles had been spending time with Reynolds: when she returned, a jealous Whiting had ‘knocked her around the bedroom’, according to the statement she gave to police. Miles, who was married to playwright Robert Bolt at the time, left once again, staying with Reynolds. When she finally returned to her own room, at midday, she found Whiting dead.

The first police to arrive on the scene found a seemingly-bruise free Miles weeping on the bed. She would later claim that Whiting was the third man to die for love for her. The inquest into Whiting’s death questioned how the dead man had suffered head injuries and how his blood had been found in three separate rooms within the motel complex, however, a post mortem confirmed that he had died of a drugs overdose. 

Outside of her skills as an actress and deadly vamp, Miles is best known for swearing like a trooper and having once admitted to drinking her own urine daily since the mid-1970s. I think I’d like her. But it’s not the sex, drugs or piss-taking we’re interested in here, it’s her decidedly un-rock ‘n’ roll attempt at pop immortality, the Fontana release Where Am I?

In 1965, Sarah Miles recorded what I believe to have been her only stab at a pop single, a Burt Bacharach-style bossa nova written by Doctor Sam Hutt, aka Hank Wangford. It was a surprising move for a woman who, when promoting the disc, admitted to the Daily Mirror columnist Patrick Doncaster that ‘I haven’t got any records. Not even a gramophone.’ She went on to say that the reason she made the record was that ‘one must have a try at almost everything,’ but she was none too pleased with the results: ‘I’ve never heard a noise like it before’. And, until I discovered this little beauty, neither had I!

Unsurprisingly the 45 was not a success.  ‘The words were atrocious,’ Wangford himself would later recall, ‘And she couldn’t sing for toffee.  She made Ernest Tubb sound as if he hit every note on the button.’ The flipside, the whimsical Here Of All Places, was composed by David Mallet, who would go on to find fame as a much-sought-after pop promo director, working with Queen, Blondie, David Bowie (including the iconic Ashes to Ashes video), the Rolling Stones, Culture Club, AC/DC, Erasure and countless other acts. Dr. Hutt would later pen the highly collectable psychedelic 45 Jabberwock/Which Dreamed It, released under the name Boeing Duveen and The Beautiful Soup, before becoming better known via his country persona.

Miles would appear on The Anti-Heroin Project double album It’s A Live-In World in 1986, but she is not the same Sarah Miles that appears on the US cast version of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. That particular Miss Miles is principally known as a choreographer, not a seductress or singer.

Here are both sides of this wonderfully woeful 45. Enjoy!

Download Where HERE




Download Here HERE


Friday 10 July 2020

The Incomparable Mrs Miller

Mrs. Miller has featured a few times on this blog, but it's been eight years since I wrote about her in any detail, and seven since she appeared in my first book, the World's Worst Records Volume One. Later on today (10 July 2020) I am hosting a two-hour audio documentary on her life, so now seems like the perfect time to expand on her story, correct a few mistakes I have made in the past and bring you the Complete Mrs. Miller. It's a long read, but I hope you enjoy it!


The Incomparable Mrs. Miller.


I’m writing this on a gloriously sunny day while listening to, and thoroughly enjoying, the disjointed, off-key warbling of the subject of this chapter, Mrs. Miller. If you haven’t discovered the joys of Mrs. Miller’s recorded work yet then go out immediately and buy a copy of her one and only legitimate CD release, which collects the highlights from her first three albums and serves as a brilliant introduction to one of the most remarkable artists of the 1960s.

Elva Ruby Connes Miller first came to fame in 1966 when Capitol Records released her debut album, the ironically-titled Mrs Miller’s Greatest Hits. Her shrill, tuneless braying seemed to strike a chord with the record-buying public: that album sold 250,000 copies in three weeks and her bizarre versions of rock and pop standards, including Petula Clark’s ‘Downtown’ with its incredible whistling solo and the Nancy Sinatra chart-topper ‘These Boots Are Made For Walking’, led to her becoming known as the worst pop star of all time.

However, the Mrs. Miller story didn’t begin there – this overnight sensation was in fact a fifty-nine-year-old housewife who had been singing since childhood, had already self-financed a number of recordings and had released at least one EP before Capitol ‘discovered’ her and snapped her up. 

Born on 5 October 1907 to Edward and Ada Connes, Elva was born in Joplin Missouri, but by her teens was living in Dodge City, Kansas. According to one of the earliest major articles written about her (in a May 1966 issue of Time magazine), when she was a child people were forever telling her to ‘knock off the singing and please go skip rope or something. But she persevered, joined the high school glee club and the church choir’ and, remarkably, ‘later studied voice for seven years’. In 1934 she married John Miller (a breeder of horses and a man twenty-five years her senior) and later moved to Claremont, California. Theirs was a good marriage: John was indulgent of his wife’s hobby and she in turn created and kept a wonderfully comfortable and fragrant (she was a keen horticulturalist) home for him. Elva balked, however, at the oft-repeated theory that the man in her life had financed her way to the top. ‘Of course my husband supported my hobby of recording songs - he's paid all the bills since we were married. But he didn't buy me a career,’[i] she once said. Elva doted on John, but sadly by the time she found stardom the couple were living apart: at 84 years old he had become too frail was residing in a rest home.

In Claremont she became the founding member and secretary of the Foothill Drama and Choral Society and continued her music studies at Pomona College. ‘At first I worried about how the younger students would receive me, but they liked the idea of an older woman there. And within three weeks, they were coming to the house, to copy my notes or listen to my records,’[ii] she later revealed. Once every few weeks, Elva would drive into Los Angeles and indulge her hobby. Carrying her own portable tape recorder, she would spend a few hours in a recording studio accompanied by a young man by the name of Fred Bock, who would later carve out a successful career as a producer of religious music. Fred helped Elva record the self-financed EP Songs For Children, signed up to become her accompanist and manager, and convinced her to try more modern songs – including an unreleased (so far) version of the Bobby Vinton hit ‘Blue Velvet’ and the Petula Clark hit ‘Downtown’, which he then took to different record labels in the hope of securing her a deal. 

She never forgot Fred, or the encouragement he gave her: ‘There was a turning point in my singing, and Fred brought it about. He felt I always sang at a very slow tempo and suggested I speed it up.’ Fred Bock would, rather pleasingly for bad music-ophiles, go on to produce several Little Marcy albums. Elva became close to Fred’s young wife, Lois, who would accompany the pair on their trips and act as her secretary. ‘She was very proper,’ Lois Bock told writer Skip Heller. ‘Once she walked off of a session at Capitol because a musician told an offensive joke. I talked her into going back, and they put a sort of glass booth around her so she couldn't hear the musicians talking.’[iii]

Disc jockey Gary Owens (who would later write the sleeve notes for Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits and who would enjoy international fame as the announcer on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In) was friendly with Bock and featured Elva on his radio program as early as 1960. He was the first person to bring her to public attention, including Elva as a guest artist on his first comedy album, Song Festoons (co-produced by Bock), in 1962. Owens would later claim (in a 2010 interview with Kliph Nesteroff for his Classic Television Showbiz blog) that he created Mrs. Miller. That’s stretching it a bit: Elva appeared on his album not as herself but in character as Phoebe Phestoon, the ‘wife’ of one of Owens’ own comedy characters, mauling the song ‘Slumber Boat’ (which had previously appeared on her debut EP), but he could certainly be credited with helping to bring her to the attention of Capitol Records and the composer, pianist, producer, arranger and conductor Lex de Azevado – who bad record aficionados will know as the producer of Ric King’s dreadful ‘Return Of A Soldier’ – who would go on to produce her debut album. Apparently Lex, who was friendly with both Bock and Owens, jumped on the Elva train after being won over one night while enjoying dinner with Fred and his wife Lois. He started to bring in acetates of her recordings into his weekly A&R meetings – which took place every Wednesday on the twelfth floor of the Capitol tower - and play them to the assembled company executives for a bit of light relief. Once they had recovered from the hysterical laughter induced by Elva mangling tracks including early versions of both ‘A Lover’s Concerto’ and ‘Downtown’ these hardened music business executives agreed that they had a potential hit on their hands.  

That first album - recorded with a crack team of session players that included Earl Palmer and Jimmy Bond, both members of the infamous Wrecking Crew - contained Mrs. Miller’s unique take on a number of contemporary hits, including ‘A Lover’s Concerto’, ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ and the Four Seasons’ classic ‘Let’s Hang On’. Released in the US on 11 April 1966, by 30 April music trade paper Billboard was reporting that the album had already sold out of its first two pressings (of fifty thousand and one hundred thousand respectively), and that Capitol Records were ‘one hundred and fifty thousand orders in arrears’. The previous week that same trade magazine stated that ‘the LP is reminiscent of another package which made sales noise several years ago featuring New Yorker Sam Sachs, who sang out of wack [sic] and became the favourite of DJs in many cities.’ The article went on to compare Elva to both Florence Foster Jenkins and Leona Anderson: high praise indeed. Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits reached number 15 on Billboard’s album charts, and soon copies of her debut album (and its accompanying 45) were being snapped up in Britain, across Europe, Australia and New Zealand, as well as in America and Canada. ‘The record certainly wasn't my idea’, Elva revealed to reporter Vonne Robertson. ‘It was just a series of coincidences that could happen to anyone. Everyone has a hobby. Some people take pictures and file them in albums. Others paint pictures and store them in the garage. My hobby has always been singing. I've made records and tapes of sacred or classical songs for my own amusement. A closet at home is filled with them.’[iv]

Mrs. Miller fan clubs were set up in Los Angeles and in New York, and teen magazines carried interviews with the latest rave. Orville Rennie, the one-time keeper of the Cherry Sisters’ flame, even attempted to establish an award in their name, and declared Mrs. Miller the first recipient. For a woman fast approaching 60, who only a few years previously had thought herself lucky if she could command an audience of a half-dozen or so at her local Baptist church, her sudden and massive success must have been a shock, but she seemed to take it all in her stride. Danny Fields, a reporter from Datebook, was entranced by her: ‘I don’t want to talk to all these old fogies from Time and Life and Look, and all the other old fogey magazines’ she told him at a press reception. ‘I want to talk to the teenagers… I love them and they love me.’[v] She and John were stoical about her success: ‘he knows I am mature enough to realise things like this run their course’.[vi]

According to that early Time article ‘While Elva may not replace Elvis, her rocking chair rock features a kind of slippin' and slidin' rhythm that is uniquely her own. Her tempos, to put it charitably, are free form; she has an uncanny knack for landing squarely between the beat, producing a new ricochet effect that, if nothing else, defies imitation. Beyond all that, her billowy soprano embraces a song with a vibrato that won't quit.’ The following year that same magazine, reviewing a live performance at the Coconut Grove (where she made her debut on February 1, 1967) said: ‘”A Hard Day’s Night”… was reduced to chaos - off-pitch, off-tempo, desperately tremulous at times, otherwise hopelessly shrill. The harder she tried, clasping a rose-coloured wrist hanky before her, the worse she sounded and the more they heard, the louder the audience responded - with peals of derisive cackling.’

However, the appeal of Mrs Miller goes beyond the humour found in a mere novelty act. She initially claimed to be serious about her singing and to begrudge the fact that Capitol made her recording sessions difficult for her in order to get the performance that they wanted. ‘Capitol Records created the angle that “she's so bad that she's good.” Or, it’s what you call camp,’ she told an interviewer from the Los Angeles Times. In his book Between Wyomings, Capitol executive Ken Mansfield, one of the men in the office the day Lex de Azevado dropped the needle on her Downtown acetate, confirms this: ‘Mrs Miller was dead serious about her singing career and actually thought that Capitol was signing her as a legitimate recording artist. She was so sweet and so sincere and completely clueless that this was all a joke.’

Once she became fully aware that her recordings were being treated as comedy releases by her record company she went along with it; initially at least. Mrs. Miller’s fame spread like wildfire, even though Time described her as possessing a ‘uniquely atrocious vocal style and [a] fearless gusto with which she assails - and destroys - a song’. She made appearances on countless TV shows, including Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, the Ed Sullivan Show (where she was greeted by a ‘good luck’ telegram from Elvis, exactly as The Beatles had been a couple of years before) and Laugh-In; she performed with Jimmy Durante on popular variety show the Hollywood Palace, sang for the troops in Vietnam with Bob Hope, and appeared on TV in the western drama the Road West – as a grandmother who had once been a dance hall singer – and in the film The Cool Ones alongside Roddy McDowell: her performance of ‘It’s Magic’, right at the end of the movie, is the highlight of this mediocre teen flick. Many column inches were given over to her unique whistling prowess, a skill she sharpened, she explained, by using ice cubes to shrink her prominent pucker. She performed live in New York, Hawaii, Ontario and even in Disneyland.

Both sides of her 45 ‘Downtown’/’A Lover’s Concerto’ became minor chart hits; she played the Hollywood Bowl and went on to release two more albums for Capitol – Will Success Spoil Mrs. Miller?! (which was originally scheduled to be released as Strangers in the Night: other rejected titles included Mrs. Miller Sings the Johnny Mercer Songbook and Capitol Punishment) and The Country Soul Of Mrs. Miller - and a fourth, Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing, on the Amaret label, although each sold significantly less than its predecessor. She even inspired an imitator, of sorts, when an act calling itself Mr Miller and the Blue Notes released their own, off-key rendition of the Herman’s Hermits hit ‘Mrs. Brown You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter’ on Swan records in 1966. It was a short, sparkling career, echoed in many ways by that of Tiny Tim and aped – much less successfully - by Canada’s Mme St Onge.

But she soon tired of being treated as a joke. ‘I don't sing off key and I don't sing off rhythm,’ she insisted. ‘They got me to do so by waiting until I was tired and then making the record. Or they would cut the record before I could become familiar with the song. At first I didn’t understand what was going on but later I did, and I resented it. I don't like to be used.’[vii] She left Capitol to set up her own company, Vibrato, which would lease her masters to independent labels (such as Kenny Myers’ Amaret), but was hurt when her former home announced that they had dropped her, an action which, she insisted, was untrue. Sales of her second album had been around ten percent of her debut: her final album for the company sold even less: she simply felt that Capitol were no longer prepared to give her albums the promotion they needed. Despite that, reporters guesstimated that she had made somewhere in the region of $100,000 while at Capitol: much of it had been placed in a trust fund to care for the ailing Mr Miller.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Mrs Miller was keen to leave her image behind by taking, of all things, vocal lessons: ‘”It's a gamble,” she admits, “but I'm willing to take a chance on a new Mrs Miller. After all, the people weren't responding to the old Mrs Miller.”’[viii] Again, Ken Mansfield backs up her story: ‘One day she walked into the Capitol lobby and, upon seeing the promotional cardboard stand-up (a life-size Mrs Miller proudly holding copies of her first two albums), kicked it over, stomped on it, then marched upstairs and asked to be dropped from the label.’ It was a rare show of pique from someone referred to time and time again as charming, sweet natured and sincere, but clearly illustrated how she felt she had been misrepresented by Capitol. It is little wonder that one reviewer described her as having the ‘charm and determination of a defensive Valkyrie.’[ix]
    
Leaving Capitol also meant leaving Fred and Lois Bock, and Lex de Azevado, behind too but, sadly, this reinvention would not produce the success she hoped for. By the time her final album Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing was issued in 1968 the joke was starting to wear thin and her audience was deserting her; in the pop charts and on the TV chat shows her charming innocence was replaced by the high camp folderol of Tiny Tim. The blatant drug references on the cover – which had her dressed in a psychedelic muumuu brandishing a batch of hash brownies (the cakes hand-tinted a garish green in the printed photograph just in case anyone missed the reference) - and in the lyrics of songs such as ‘Mary Jane’, ‘The Renaissance Of Smut’ and ‘Granny Bopper’ were too much for her, as was the attempt to repackage Elva as a late sixties precursor to Anna Madrigal. However, the album does have its highs (if you’ll excuse the pun), and her version of the Lemon Piper’s hit single ‘Green Tambourine’ is a wonderfully shrill assault on the ears: there’s even a little dig at her ukulele-plucking successor. Even though ‘Mary Jane’ went on to become the theme to a film starring pop star Fabian as high school teacher fighting a marijuana gang (Mrs Miller’s version of the song was included on the soundtrack album, although she went uncredited on the sleeve), Elva had had enough, and the death of her beloved husband that same year put paid to any thoughts of a major-label comeback.

Although John had gone, his widow continued to record and to make sporadic live appearances. Two singles were released through her own Mrs. Miller Records in 1971: production values were high (she put together a great band of big name jazz musicians to back her efforts) but sales were poor and in 1973 Mrs. Miller had disappeared from the spotlight for good, retiring gracefully to her Claremont home before moving to Los Angeles where she would spend the remainder of her years. Still, this amazing performer took it all in her stride. ‘If something comes along to stop this merry-go-round, I'll be able to go right back to being a housewife,’ she once said. ‘In the meantime, I will have met lots of people and had a great deal of fun. Not many women my age have such an opportunity.’

Although she was often referred to during her stellar career as a grandmother, the childless Elva spent her remaining years doing charity work instead of employing what Jordan Bonfante, writing in Life shortly after she left Capitol, called ‘the voice of a tubercular parrot’. In her later years she gave few interviews: when she did she was always gracious and often surprisingly candid about here 15 minutes (more like 15 months) in the spotlight: Capitol, she said, wanted to make her into ‘some kind of kook… I belonged in opera. I wanted to do ballads but they wouldn't let me. Life was full of turmoil because of that. I didn’t need it, so I got out. I was glad when it ended.’[x] Luckily the world still had her recordings to comfort and confound.

It has been some time now since Elva left the building. She passed away on 5 July 1997 – just three months shy of her ninetieth birthday – at the Garden Terrace Retirement Centre, in Vista, California, three and a half years after the apartment she was living in was levelled by an earthquake. Sadly, she passed too soon to enjoy the resurrection of her career instigated by Capitol’s career-spanning compilation Wild, Cool & Swingin', The Artist Collection: Mrs Miller. In late 2012 news broke that a movie about her life (titled Will Success Spoil Mrs. Miller?, starring Annette Bening and written by Matthew Fantaci) was in the offing: sadly that movie has yet to transpire, it’s thunder stolen somewhat by the very real success of the Meryl Streep vehicle Florence Foster Jenkins. However, in March 2017 a stage musical, Mrs Miller Does Her Thing, written and directed by Pulitzer Prize winner James Lapine, opened to enthusiastic reviews in Washington DC, with Elva portrayed by Debra Monk (NYPD Blue, Frasier). It seems that Elva Miller’s story is not quite over yet.

Here are a couple of cuts from her final album, Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing: Green Tambourine and Mary Jane. Enjoy!

Download Tambourine HERE


Download Mary HERE  





[i] Vonne Robertson, ‘Sudden Fame at 59- She’s Having a Ball’, the Progress-Bulletin, 29 May 1966
[ii] Jordan Bonfante, ‘Mrs. Miller is Off-pitch for Profit: A Most Unlikely Lark’, LIFE Magazine, 22 September 1967
[iii] Skip Heller, ‘Searching for Mrs Miller’, Strange and Cool Magazine, Issue 14, 1999
[iv] Vonne Robertson, ‘Sudden Fame at 59- She’s Having a Ball’, the Progress-Bulletin, 29 May 1966
[v] Danny Fields, ‘the Sound of Mrs Miller, Twenty-minute Fandangos and Forever Changes; a Rock Bazaar (Jonathan Eisen, ed.), Random House, New York 1971
[vi] Bob Thomas, ‘Mrs. Miller Sings Beatle-Type Hits’, The Courier-News (Bridgewater, New Jersey), 12 July 1966
[vii] Bob Thomas , ‘Mrs. Miller Tries to Change Image’, Los Angeles Times, 2 October 1967
[viii] ibid
[ix] Martin Bernheimer, ‘Most Memorable Debut for Coloratura From Claremont’, Los Angeles Times, 6 June 1966
[x] Jim Houston, ‘Postscript: Bravo for Mrs. Miller - She Had to Be Free’, the Los Angeles Times, 7 July 1976


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