So, this is Christmas…
Just a few days to go until the big day; just enough time to
squeeze in a few more Holiday Howlers for you.
Noting says Christmas like atonal brats asking for something
they cannot possibly have, and to that end here’s Little Cindy with her very
special Christmas prayer, Happy Birthday Jesus, bless her! This creepy
carol was originally issued in 1958 on the tiny Salem label and was then picked
up by the mighty Columbia Records, but will be better known to many from its’
inclusion on the essential madcap Xmas compilation A John Waters Christmas.
Later covered by Patti Page (also for Columbia) the song’s author, George
Donald McGraw, is best known for being the composer of the Rock-a-teens huge
hit Woo-Hoo. He also wrote the
spectacularly awful I'd Hate To Be The Man (Who Drove The Nails In
Jesus' Hands), recorded by Louisiana state
governor Jimmie Davis, who I have been meaning to featured on this very blog
for a while now. Maybe in the New Year! The crucifixion seems to have been a
rather important event for McGraw: he also wrote a few flop follow ups for
Little Cindy, including It Must Have Been the Easter Bunny and The Miracle of Easter.
By the way, if you think you've heard Happy Birthday Jesus here before, you're right! Last December I featured a recording of the same song by Little Christopher Darling, although his version segues in to a recording of Silent Night.
Another song that features on that John Waters compilation is
Roger Christian’s Little Mary Christmas.
Christian was a radio DJ, and the disc was issued in time for Christmas 1962.
Although this particular record was a flop, he hot the big time shortly
afterwards when he co-wrote Shut Down with Brian Wilson, an enormous hit for the Beach Boys. Wilson and
Christian would go on to pen a number of hits, including Little Deuce
Coupe and Don’t Worry Baby. He also wrote for jan and Dean, the Four Seasons,
Annette and many, many more, as well as enjoying a sporadic solo career.
Now, I realise that we don’t normally feature novelty discs
here at the World’s Worst Records, but I am going to make an exception here,
for this week I received a copy of the following record in the post from my
good friend The Squire.So for him, and for music masochists everywhere, here are both sides of the late ventriloquist Keith Harris and his revolting green duck Orville’s White Christmas/That’s What I Wish For Christmas, a Top 40 hit in the UK in January 1986.
Merry Christmas... and enjoy!
Download BIRTHDAY here
Download MARY here
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