Christmas Cavalcade 2023 - Part Two

A bunch of random, Christmassy nonsense for you today, brought together simply because these singles are seasonal and have not featured on the blog before. Make of this lot what you will.

 

First up, from the late comic actor Frank Kelly, is Christmas Countdown, a song that provided the man best known for playing Father Jack Hackett in the brilliant (if now somewhat overshadowed by having been co-created by a toxic loon) sitcom Father Ted. Not only would Christmas Countdown reward Frank with a top 30 hit in British singles charts (during Christmas week 1983), but it also saw him performing on Top of the Pops! 

The disc had first been issued, in Ireland, in 1980, on the tiny Lunar Records label, but it was resurrected two years later and became a surprise hit locally, making number eight on the Irish charts. It was also a top 20 hit in Australia. Kelly had form when it came to Christmas-themed novelties: in 1979 he issued (via Dublin label Crashed Records) the new wave-inspired comedy single Dear Santa, this time credited – in a tip of the hat to Mr Lydon – Rotton Frank. As it’s the season, I have also included that track here for you to enjoy (or endure!)

 

Next is the A-side of a 45 from Bob Anthony, the cabaret singer whose tribute album to the island of Jersey I featured on the blog back in November 2021. This time he’s singing about spending the festive season in the slightly less exotic locale of London: Christmas in London first appeared as a single in 1978 (on Bob’s own Regis Rose label, based at his home address in Bognor Regis), before being compiled as part of his early 1980s album Magic of London.

 

America’s amateur poets and lyric writers were hot on Christmas. So it should be no surprise that there are quite literally hundreds of festive-themed song-poems out there. All of the big names of the genre, including Rodd Keith, Gene Marshall, Cara Stewart and Norm Burns have Christmassy clunkers in their catalogues, and many have already appeared on this very blog, but to round off today’s post is one I have not featured before now. 

From the pen of Norridge Mayhems, a.k.a Norris the Troubadour, here are the Seaboard Coastliners – an entirely studio-fabricated band (and the same act that appeared as the Ping Pongs on the utterly brilliant Pinky Tail) – and the wonderfully atonal Christmas Time Philosophy. 

I love this track. The singer could not sound more bored, and it's clear that whoever has been given the job of trying to keep time has never seen a drum before. It feels as if the only thing on the minds of the participants is to get this recording finished as quickly as possible and get down to the pub to begin their own seasonal celebrations. 

The song first appeared on the 1976 double LP Our Centennial Album, before being compiled on the rather wonderful song-poem collection Daddy, Is Santa Really Six Foot Four? In 2003.

 

Enjoy!

 

Download Santa HERE

Download Countdown HERE

Download London HERE

Download Philosophy HERE