Welcome back, my friends, to the show that (seemingly) never ends. Apologies for being missing in action last week, but we were moving house and I was without internet access for a few days.
Still, let’s get back to work. The oddity I present for you today does push the boundaries a little in as much as this is clearly a novelty record – albeit it a particularly bad one. I usually try to avoid novelties but as long time followers of The World’s Worst Records will know, sometimes they are simply unavoidable.
This particular disc ‘celebrates’ the crimes of one Dennis Andrew Nilsen, serial killer and necrophiliac who is also known as the Muswell Hill Murderer. Nilsen murdered 15 young men in London between 1978 and 1983, retaining his victims' bodies before dissecting their remains and disposing of them via burning or flushing the remains down a lavatory. Convicted of six counts of murder and two of attempted murder in November 1983, he became known as the Muswell Hill Murderer as a number of his crimes were committed at his home at 23 Cranley Gardens in the Muswell Hill district of North London.
Released before Nilsen was found guilty (which is why the murderer is never name checked), Somebody’s In My Drain (they got the title right on the label if not the sleeve) and its pointless sub-dub B-Side Somebodies Parts 1 & 2 (Chopped version) were issued on Secret Records by the unknown Dinah Rod and the Drains - a play, for those who didn’t immediately get the sledgehammer-subtle humour, on the name of Dyna Rod, the nation’s favourite drain unblocking service. Secret was better known, at that time, for issuing records by acts involved in the second wave of British punk: the Exploited, Info Riot, 999, the 4 Skins and Chron Gen among them. It’s widely believed that Dinah Rodd was either one of these groups masquerading under a pseudonym or a ‘supergroup’ made up of members of some of them. Unfortunately no-one has dared own up to committing this audio crime. Secret also released a 45 by Keith Chegwin and his brother Jeff. Wouldn’t it be wonderful…
The unnamed singer/lyricist of these tasteless tracks clearly hasn’t done his homework. He mentions living at 22 Melrose Avenue, Cricklewood, yet Nilsen began his crime spree at 195 Melrose Avenue. He was arrested after problems in the drains at 23 Cranley Gardens, Muswell Hill. Still, what do facts have to do with anything?
Anyway, here are both sides of this rightfully-obscure 45. Enjoy!