Friday, 11 December 2015

Christmas Cavalcade 2015 Part Two

'On Heavy Metal Christmas my true love gave to me - a tattoo of Ozzy!"

There are certain things that should never happen, no matter what time of year it is. Good will to all men? bah! Humbug! I'm talking, of course, of heavy metal acts covering classic Christmas songs. It's just awful, and it needs to stop.

If they're trying to be sincere, they come across as bombastic and over the top, and if they're trying to be funny they come across as bombastic and over the top. You can't do songs about the birth of Christ if you're supposed to worship satan. Even if you do add a ridiculously over the top guitar solo into the mx. It just ain't right.

And here, to prove my point, are four examples of the genre from some of the giants of the genre, including Ronnie James Dio (Rainbow/Black Sabbath) with Sabbath's guitar legend Tony Iommi and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Alice Cooper (why, Alice? Why?) with Santa Claws is Coming to Town from the 2008 album We Wish You a Metal Xmas; Twisted Sister with Heavy Metal Christmas and Manowar, with their surprisingly straight version of an old christmas carol.

Both Alice (aka Vince Furnier) and Twisted Sister's Dee Snider have gone on record to profess their belief in God; Ronnie James Dio as raised catholic, and according to the late singer's wife, still believed in some sort of superior being. I can't tell you anything about the beliefs of the various members of Manowar, who put out their version of Silent Night in 2013, and frankly I don't really care. Like the other three tracks here, it's shockingly awful.


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